‘Covid memories are in a box deep in my brain’

Five years on, Senior Sister Lauren Jakes still vividly remembers the moment she was told her ward was to expect the arrival of its very first Covid patient.

“You could see the fear in everybody’s eyes,” she says.

As the pandemic unfolded, the Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital became a dedicated surge centre, taking seriously ill patients from across the East of England.

Since then, SisterJakes says she has lost a “very good number” of nurses to other departments, as they could no longer face working in critical care.

Sister Jakes recounted how there was a reluctance to enter the room of the first Covid patient, until one of the other sisters set the example for how they would need to tackle the disease head-on.

The experienced nurse described the first two years as “terrifying”, with the unit caring for double its usual number of patients.

Staff were drafted in from other departments, with nurses responsible for four patients, instead of one.

Sister Jakes said she “cried” the first time she heard people clapping for the NHS.

She said she still saw the faces of patients and would never forget some of the people she came across.

“I have put the memories of that time in a little box, deep within my brain.

“Will it ever be opened again? I don’t know, maybe in years to come, but at the moment, I’m quite content with leaving those feelings where they are and trying to carry on with a profession that I still love.”

Sister Jakes said she had completed a dissertation on the psychological impact of the pandemic on staff, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

“There was a massive jump in nurses that were affected by PTSD, nightmares and flashbacks,” she said.

“A lot were then unable to cope, so they’ve had to leave their career within critical care to explore other avenues for their mental health and wellbeing.”

In a recently published NHS staff survey, the East of England had the highest number of staff who often found work emotionally exhausting (28%) and suffered from burnout (24%).

The number is down from 2021 but Sister Jakes said “quite a few” of her colleagues still had Long Covid and those who had lost relatives and loved ones could not forget and “they shouldn’t forget”.

Dr Parvez Moondi worked as a consultant in the same department.

He said one of the worst things was seeing patients and families separated.

“We tried to do our best with iPads because people weren’t allowed to visit but it was quite distressing to see patients suffer without their loved ones nearby,” he said.

“I’m not surprised lots of people were traumatised.”

Dr Moondi worked four consecutive 12-hour shifts, staying at the hospital to protect his own family.

His children were teenagers at the time, with one studying for GCSEs.

Sister Jakes home-schooled her child, who was then five, after deciding the risk of him bringing the illness home was too great.

“My school definitely required improvement!” she said. “It just seems like such a lifetime ago.”

She said she hoped they would be able to respond to any future pandemic better – and more efficiently.

“Over Christmas we got a few more flu patients and that stirred up some emotions because we were pulling out the gowns and the masks and everything again,” she said.

“They [some staff] were almost a bit like ‘this is a bit close to home, I don’t think I really want to do this again’, but it never reached that peak.”

Dr Moondi said it was not until the studies came out that they had become better at treating Covid and ensuring better outcomes.

“It was quite an horrendous time, you wouldn’t want to go through that again,” he added.