Psychology is revealing how to have a better relationship with money

Conversations with your hairdresser can be quite revealing. And when I went for a trim earlier this year, the gossip was especially good. It was close enough to Christmas for our chat to turn to gifts and giving and, as he snipped away, my stylist had some juicy anecdotes to share. One customer had complained that despite her sister being about to buy a £1 million house, she still moaned about contributing £20 towards a gift for their aunt. Another described presents from her son as “a bit thin”. And a third felt physically sick at the amount his family members had spent on his young nieces.

Money, money, money. We have such different attitudes towards cash, but taboos make it tricky to talk about. As a result, it can drive a wedge into otherwise happy relationships. This is exacerbated by growing financial divides: analysis from a charity called the Fairness Foundation found that, between 2011 and 2019, the wealth gap between the poorest and richest UK households grew by 50 per cent – and the situation is even worse in the US. Yet psychologists have only recently begun truly getting to grips with why money is such a deeply emotional topic for us – something filled with meanings and belief – rather than simply a necessity to pay the bills.

Now, they are unpacking everything from how and when our ideas about money develop to what constitutes a healthy – or unhealthy – relationship with the stuff. Psychologists may be late to the party, but some of their findings are surprising.…