Why I’ll need earplugs to get through Christmas dinner

Lottie is looking forward to spending time with her family this Christmas, but says one of the only ways she’ll manage to get through it is by wearing her earplugs – especially during Christmas dinner.

For the 23-year-old Christmas can be a particularly difficult time as the sounds of other people, chewing, slurping and sniffling make her feel extremely uncomfortable.

“I get this feeling of sudden panic, my whole body will just tense up and it feels like I’m in danger, and I need to somehow control these noises.”

Lottie has suffered from misophonia since she was 16 and for her that makes the festive season “incredibly overwhelming”.

Misophonia is a reduced tolerance to certain sounds, particularly those made by other people.

It’s surprisingly common in the UK. In 2023, researchers from King’s College London and University of Oxford found almost one in five people suffer from it.

Often it’s sounds associated with mouth, throat or facial movements that cause distress, as well as things like chewing, breathing, and repetitive finger tapping.

Lottie says: “There are so many different triggering sounds at Christmas and that can be anxiety inducing and make you dread it.

“My family are understanding, but I’m very conscious that I don’t want to make other people feel uncomfortable. It’s like a really big battle of sacrificing my own sanity to make sure everyone else is happy.”

So it’s easy to understand why the most wonderful time of the year can quickly turn into a living nightmare for those with the condition.

Sounds that may seem harmless or easy to ignore, like someone slurping a Buck’s fizz, rustling a roll of wrapping paper, or tucking into a Christmas dinner can trigger a strong emotional response that can even lead to them avoiding social settings altogether.

Jenna, a 21-year-old student, who has struggled with misophonia since aged 10, says currently her plan is to put her earphones in to get through dinner. On any other day, she would usually isolate herself in a different room to avoid triggering sounds.

She says her misophonia is worse around people she’s closest to, so Christmas is always “challenging”.

“There’s an expectation to spend time with family, and I want to, but it’s physically and mentally challenging.

“It’s like this uncontrollable anger comes over me which can feel embarrassing, or I’ll feel anxious and immediately start crying and then fight-or-flight will kick in.

“It can come across as if I’m being difficult and dramatic, but it’s hard to explain unless you’ve experienced it.”

If it’s an issue you suffer from then there are some different techniques you can try to cope, according to clinical psychologist Dr Jane Gregory, who told the BBC’s Morning Live Programme:

1. Visualise something else: Imagination is key. Try to associate the particular sound affecting you with something completely different. So for example, try to imagine someone’s slurping is just a sink draining water. By doing this you’re trying to teach your brain that the sound affecting you isn’t harmful
2. Try a competition: Have a bit of fun with it and make the irritating noise into a competition with the culprit. For instance, if someone is crunching loudly have a go at mimicking the sound and crunching loudly too. By mimicking, instead of feeling like the sound is being imposed on you, you become an active participant. And the competition element should help distract your brain into focusing on that and make you a little less affected
3. Create a scenario: Another technique is to try to create a little story about why the person making the noise is having to make that sound. So if someone was sniffing for instance, perhaps they’re not feeling well or maybe they’re upset. By doing this you’re changing the meaning of the sound. Although the noise stays the same, your interpretation of it shifts from being aggravating, to feeling a little more neutral towards it